Beautiful Disaster
by My one true love
Summary: Everyone gathers to mourn Brooke's death and the life she left behind. The events of the summer following graduation haunted Brooke and turned her into someone different. Spoilers through the end of s4.


_Hello all! This is a oneshot that I wrote awhile back and realized that I hadn't posted. Please let me know what you think!!!_

Beautiful Disaster

The day was bright and sunny, like had always been. The sun shone down on all of the mourners who sat in the chair under the shade of a large oak tree. Everyone knew that she would have hated for them to mourn yet especially not inside of some dark, dreary church. This was the best way that they thought that they could send her off.

She had been just twenty five and left behind a child in the world, but she had done it to herself. She had become someone that none of her friend's recognized. She had fallen apart after graduation, withdrawn from everyone that loved her. She'd turned in on herself and become self destructive. She'd become a broken shell of the person that she'd once been.

The once bright and cheery brunette that everyone loved and adored had been destroyed in mere moments, yet another bad decision leading to devastation. The summer after graduation had changed everyone's life, but it had destroyed Brooke.

She and Peyton had been inseparable when they arrived in LA. They hit the clubs, learning the nightlife scene. If there was an it place to be, they were there. In mid July Lucas came out for a visit and that was the beginning of the end. Peyton had realized that no matter how much she loved Lucas she was too young to be tied down. She wanted to be free to live her life as she wanted for awhile. If Lucas loved her he would wait for her.

Unfortunately she decided to tell him this when they were all drunk at a party. She'd left him standing there stunned as she took off with some random guy. Brooke had been about to leave herself, assuming that Peyton and Lucas would be able to find their own way home when she noticed him standing in the middle of the club in a daze. She'd hurried over without a second thought of the other party she'd been on her way to.

She managed to get the two of them to her parent's house and was able to get him to tell her that Peyton had broken it off with him. One thing had led to another and they'd ended up in bed together. And that's how they were when Peyton made it home the next morning. There had been a huge blow out with screaming, slapping and even a few punches. Lucas had packed his bags and headed back to Tree Hill while Peyton had packed her's and headed for a hotel.

Brooke was left alone, her heart broken again as the boy that she would always love and the best friend she kept betraying gone from her life. Both had sworn up and down that this was it. There would not be another chance and they were both done with her. All that she had left in the world was Haley and Nathan, but they couldn't hide the disapproval that they both felt.

Two months later when she found out she was pregnant she considered aborting it, but for some reason she hadn't. No one spoke to her after she announced that she was pregnant so they didn't know why she had chose to keep it. Maybe it was because she was the only tie that Brooke would ever have to Lucas, but no one would ever know.

"She was one of my best friends and I haven't spoken to her in six years. She is my child's godmother and I just let her fade from my life." Haley stood in front of the crowd, tears filling her eyes and threatening to fall at any moment. "When I heard the news I felt my heart drop and something inside of me died. How had I let so much time pass? What was I thinking? I don't know what she was feeling. I don't know if she ever found love again or if she ever let anyone in again. I don't know anything about how she became this person. This person who would slowly kill herself, wasting everything that she had on nothing." At this point the tears were sliding down her cheeks and she didn't care. A part of her had died with Brooke and she would never be the same. She would never stop blaming herself. If she had been there for Brooke maybe this could have been prevented.

"_James Lucas Scott! Get in here now!" Haley shook her head as she looked at the havoc her seven year old had caused in her living room. _

_James came tearing around the corner, a giggle spilling from his lips before he saw the look on his mom's face. He stopped quickly, his eyes widening. "Yes, mom?"_

"_What is this mess?"_

"_Ummm..." He looked around the room before shrugging. "I was playing?"_

_Haley took a deep breathe, closing her eyes. "I would recommend that you pick it up NOW." _

_The ringing phone drew her attention away and as she turned to answer it she tossed over her shoulder, "And make it fast. If it's not done before I get off this phone you're gonna be grounded." She picked up the phone with a sigh. "Hello?"_

_She paused for a moment and a smile began to form as she recognized the voice. "Karen, it's been awhile-" She stopped as a rush of words came over the phone and she tried to comprehend them. "What? Are you sure? But...Ok thank you for calling me." The phone slipped from her hand as she slid to her knees, tearing sliding down her cheeks as her body began to shake with sobs._

"_Mommy? Mommy what's wrong?"_

"_Oh honey." Haley swept her son into her arms. "It's your aunt Brooke. She's-she's-" Haley felt herself choking on the words, "dead."_

"Although I haven't talked to her in all of those years I knew that she was still there. Now life feels empty, like something's missing. I will forever remember the Brooke Davis who helped me become the person that I am today. And remember to keep those that you love close to you. Don't let them slip away. You never know if you'll get to see them again. Make sure that you tell them you love them and keep in touch no matter how hard it seems." Sobs began to rack her body as she shook her head. "Make sure that they know that you love them." She looked up at the sky, the tears almost blinding her. "Brooke I'm sorry. Please forgive me and know that I will always love you. I'll carry you in my heart for the rest of my love." She stepped out of the podium and collapsed from the pain that was coursing through her body.

Nathan jumped up from his seat, taking her into his arms. Everyone watched as he carried her back to her seat before stepping up to the podium himself. "Brooke Davis was a queen. Although she had no actual royal blood, she was a queen. The entire town of Tree Hill knew it. It was who she was all of her life. She ran that town and she ran high school. Everyone always thought that the two of us would end up together, the king and queen of Tree Hill High. That's how I want to remember Brooke." Nathan shook his head. "I want to remember as the cheery girl who cheered at all of my basketball games. The spirted girl who didn't let anyone get the best of her twice. Not the broken mess she became when she turned to drugs. Not the girl who's life we watched being sucked out of her one day at a time until we couldn't watch anymore.

"That wasn't the Brooke Davis that any of us should remember. When you think of her, think of the girl that we once knew. The one who's smile lit up the entire room. The girl who's goal in life was to have an Oscar winner tell Joan Rivers that they were wearing Brooke Davis." He paused again. "That is the girl that we all knew and loved. This broken shell that she became - we didn't know that person and to be honest I don't think she would have wanted us to. That's why she pulled away. She knew that she was broken and she didn't wish that upon us." He glanced at the picture that stood a little off to the side of the podium, in front of the closed coffin.

"Brooke was always looking out for everyone else. She didn't want to mar our prefect lives." He laughed, a sad sound that held no joy as it should. "Brooke Davis, the girl next door. We'll miss you Brooke. But we'll miss the old you, the one you would have wanted us to miss. We won't remember the broken person you became. You're too good for that." With a last shake of his head he stepped down, taking his sobbing wife into his arms again as he sat down.

"I'm not going to stand up here and give a long speech. You all know how I felt about Brooke." Rachel laughed. "It was hate at first sight that spun into a friendship that was everything that I never thought I could have." She reached up, wiping away a tear from her eye. "I stuck by Brooke, watched as she fell apart. There was nothing left of the Brooke Davis that I once knew. Drugs change and person and it was no different in Brooke's case. She became angry and violent. Distrusting and hateful. The last time I remember seeing her smile was at Kayla's first birthday. And then Kayla looked at her with those big blue eyes and blonde curls and it broke her heart. I know that she loved Kayla and that's why she left her with her parents. She knew that she was in no condition to care for a child that she would grow to resent."

Rachel shook her head. "Ya know what? Forget this. Brooke, you were the best friend that I've ever had and I will miss you for the rest of my life. Maybe one day I'll have earned my way into heaven and I'll see you there. Because I know that's where you are. Underneath all of that anger and hurt you were still a great person and I just know that they let you. Party some for me and I'll party for you here." She gave another small laugh as she stepped down, shooting Mouth a smile as he walked past her on his way to the front.

"Drama Queen. Girl next door. Cheerleader. The girl of my dreams. That is what I think of when I think of Brooke. No matter what she became that was all still there. Our Brooke was there somewhere." Mouth shook his head. "It's too bad that her prediction of the two of us being married didn't come true. I'd have killed for that." He laughed and a few people laughed with him. "She had an infectious laugh, a smile to blind you and dimples to kill. I have never met anyone that compares to her. Brooke was in her own league. I don't think that there's another person out there even remotely like her. And she wouldn't want us here mourning her. She'd be telling us how we needed to go out and party, get on with our lives. That we can't spend forever being sad. Whenever I think of her, I'll smile. Because that's what she brought to my life - happiness." He smiled, the tears shining in his eyes. "I'll miss her, more than anyone knows. But she'd want us to remember the good times. Like the time when she decided to strip for the time capsule video. Or the trip when they all came to rescue me in Texas. The day that she, Haley and Peyton were arrested for stealing back her own designs." He laughed, shaking his head. "She was always causing some kind of trouble. And that's how I'll remember her. The trouble making vixen who stole my heart at first glance." He stepped down, pausing in front of picture. He brushed a hand across the picture, closing his eyes as he fought to keep his tears in check. "I will always love you Brooke Davis," he whispered more to himself.

The pastor stood, making his way back to the podium. "Wait!"

Everyone turned in their seat to see Lucas and a very pregnant Peyton standing in the back. "We'd like to say a few words." Lucas took Peyton's hand, leading her to the front.

"Brooke was my first love and something that I took for advantage." He shook his head. "I knew what was going on and yet I did nothing to stop it. When she told me that she was pregnant with Kayla I told her to get rid of it. I was so mad. I thought that she'd done it on purpose, to be spiteful. To get back at Peyton for getting me. I don't know what I was thinking and by the time I realized what I had done she'd already started on her downward spiral and I didn't want to admit that I was wrong." He closed hid eyes as tears spilled over. "If I could take just one thing back in my life it would be telling to get rid of her child. I know that broke her. I broke her." His body began to shake as he continued. "I've hated myself for a long time and now it's too late. I waited to long. It's the story of my life. I've missed out on years of my daughter's life and I killed her mother. I may not have been the one who gave her the drugs or the one who shot her so full of heroin that she died, but I'm as much to blame as she is.

"Brooke, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I hope that you can find some way to forgive me and maybe one day I'll find peace. I'll make one promise to you though. I will love our daughter enough for both of us and she will know the girl that you once where. My Pretty Girl, the girl that I fell in love with." He had to stop as the guilt and grief became too much for him.

Peyton stepped forward, her face blank. "Brooke was my best friend for years and our friendship was ruined over a guy." She glanced back at Lucas. "A guy that I love very much, but it never should have been like this. I was too selfish. I wouldn't give him up for her. I made her feel like she was the one in the wrong, but she wasn't. Or at least she wasn't alone. I know that all of you don't want to hear me up here talking about how I screwed up so I won't. Brooke Davis was my best friend and a piece of my heart is with her. It has been since that day in LA. I know that she'll forgive me because that's the type of person that she is, but I'll always remember." She walked over to the closed coffin and laid her head upon it. "God, Brooke. I'm so sorry. I love you. I wish that I had been there for you. I wish that I could have saved you. I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough. I'm sorry that I was afraid."

Tears slowly slid down her face as everyone watched her whisper to her friend. "You taught me that it was worth it to let people in. Even if they hurt you. It's better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all. That was your mantra Brooke. And I think that you truly believed it. I'm so sorry. I pushed you away and it's my fault that I've lost you. Another person that I should've kept close. Forgive me." She placed a hand on her swollen stomach. "These children will carry your name. Brooke and Davis will be the best little brother and sister that Kayla could have. And they'll know all about you. About the wonderful person you were and how you changed everyone's life by just being in it."

She slowly stood up, wiping the tears from her face as Lucas wrapped his arm around her. They slowly made their way back to their seats as the pastor said the closing prayers. Brooke Penelope Davis would never be remembered as the beautiful disaster that she had become. She would be forever remembered as Cheery, the girl with the golden smile and a spirt that no one thought could be broken.


End file.
